During a recent European vacation, I shared my love story on Facebook Live. Some ladies in my FB group told me how much they enjoyed these videos and how they liked my love story. They are inspired to try dating again. But, there is a common problem for them in taking the first step:
They feel terrified….
Let’s take a closer look at Fear:
We all have fear. Everyone feels afraid of something. My biggest concern back when I was single was of being alone, and dying alone. I imaged that after my kids went off to college, I was going to be in the house by myself, and I would have no one to grow older alongside. But I used that fear to take action.
That’s how I decided to do something and not to allow that outcome happen!
By definition, Fear is an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that something likely will cause pain or hurt. Fear is either from something unknown or past experiences.
If we had a bad experience in the past, we would be afraid it might happen again.
Likewise, if we never had the experience, our mind creates an anticipated outcome which may not be entirely accurate but scares us nonetheless.
Indeed, dating will stir up or trigger some very uncomfortable feelings which make us feel fearful. Such as a fear of getting hurt again, fear of being rejected, fear of being vulnerable, or a fear of losing control.
All these add up to the biggest fear of all, the fear of failure.
Then what do we do? Give up? Runaway? Put a shell around ourselves? But how about your dreams and desires? How about happiness? How about enjoying life to our fullest?
Fear is like a bouncing ball, the harder you push it down, the higher it will bounce back up. The more you resist it, the more fear you will feel. The best practice is to allow yourself to feel those uncomfortable feelings, digest them, understand them, and then let them go. Remember, anything you don’t release or eliminate, stays with you.
The key here is to learn how to directly look into your panic or uncomfortable feelings and still move through them instead of trying to suppress them. A lot of fears are just old thoughts and old beliefs. They are not true anymore. They are not true to who you are.
Releasing fear will create more emotional intimacy for yourself.
We all look for intimacy in relationship with our partners. But the first step is to become intimate with ourselves before we can build the companionship with our partners.
What is intimacy? – “into me see” into-myself-see (myself)
Only when we create that intimacy with ourselves, when we become comfortable in our skin, know our worthiness, our value, then the confidence will rise to the top – the belief in ourselves!
From that level of confidence in yourself, you will not feel afraid. You will be able to take that first step in dating. You will find worth in yourself. And, you will begin to seek a man worthy of you!
Ladies, I hope this helps. If you need help to guide you through the process to release your fear, private message me, we can set a time to talk. I have great tools to facilitate you to release the fear FASTER.